Comment Wall for The Burn Book

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Comments

  1. Hi Keana! I could tell from the title that I was going to love your storybook. I am a big fan of Greek gods and goddesses and of course the classic 2000's movie Mean Girls, so putting them together is an amazing idea. I love that you have a speaker. It is a different experience when you are reading from a third party opposed to being in the actual story. I think that for your purpose, it is a better idea to do the third party! I, also, loved that you brought this ancient story into modern times. All of the pop culture references and the ability to relate more to the reader through this is amazing! I am very excited to see how the rest of your story turns out. In the introduction, it may be beneficial to mention who is going to be highlighted in the burn book. I know that they will eventually have tabs but I think it would be cool to know as your reading perhaps what Eris thinks of them and why they are in there! Just an idea, but I love it either way!

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  2. Hi!! Like Brynlee, I am a huge fan of Percy Jackson and Greek mythology, so when I saw the name of your storybook on the random list, I knew I had to check it out! To begin, the aesthetic of the site in general, and especially the picture you chose for your header, is phenomenal and so fitting with what you are trying to convey.

    I enjoyed reading your introduction, and I like how you place the reader directly into the world of Greek mythology by having the narrator be Eris. It is enjoyable and entertaining, and I can not wait to see which stories and "gossip" you come up with for your retellings. You definitely hit the mark on taking old writings and making them applicable/tying them into the more modern era, and I am impressed by that. You are so clearly creative, and I hope you continue the good work!

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  3. Hi Keana!
    I enjoyed reading your introduction. It got me excited to the point where I can't wait to read the real story. I am a fan of Greek mythology, because they are enjoyable and entertaining. I also like your title, I confess that I didn't have any clue of what the story by will be just reading the title, but after explaining what the title was about, I got more curious. You mentioned that the gods and goddess’s family are quite dysfunctional, i can't wait to see what type of gossip will make this family go nuts. I wonder what the family will do in case of disfunction. Are they going to kill each other? or maybe banned them from the universe? I also was wondering if Eris the narrator was part of the family? Was she one of the goddesses that survived maybe? I can’t wait to see how you will be retelling the story and make it applicable and tie them to modern era.

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  4. Keana, you already had me hooked by just seeing the title of your storybook! Like everyone else that's commented, I'm a huge fan of Greek Mythology and I enjoy all the various stories potential to be added into your burnbook. I think it's very fitting that you chose Eris as the storyteller as she is the daughter of Zeus and Hera, depending on which myth you follow, and those two are constantly having problems. So, in other words, the irony and karma is very real! That said, your introduction is flawless and I really don't have much to comment on. The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is possibly creating a list of the people Eris plans to talk over. Like, is Eris going to talk about individuals or is she going to talk about couples and their behavior? Other then that, your introduction was really good and I'm excited to see the stories to come!

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    1. Hey Keana, I'm glad to see that your storybook popped up on my page again, and it's nice to see that your burnbook has officially started! Right off the bat, I want to say that your first choice in story was undoubtedly a good one. Athena and Ares are both, technically, war gods with obvious differences on Athena's part, but nevertheless they're a perfect pair of siblings to juxtapose in a burnbook setting! Not only was there the Mean Girl energy throughout the story, but Eris, as the narrator, definitely hit the sibling dynamic on the head. Through your writing, you're able to see how they oppose each other's decisions, but likewise how they're literally having this argument during a human war. With all of that said, I'm excited to read your future entries as I know they'll be wonderful! The only suggestions I have is that you go through and reread your writing to catch awkward phrasing, spelling and grammar mistakes. Of course, the story was still a joy to read, but just touching up on those few things will definitely make it flow better!

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  5. Hey Keana! First of all, I absolutely love your idea for your storybook. I am absolutely obsessed with Mean Girls and all of the little jokes within it, so having a Burn Book story is definitely made to be entertaining. I also am really excited that you chose to do a Burn Book in Olympus! Greek mythology is my favorite genre of mythology, so I'm eager to see how you connect all the gods and goddesses together through this drama. I think what would be really cool is if you wrote it from the basic teenager perspective and made all of the problems fall in line with those in the actual Mean Girls movie. Doing that would give Mean Girls fans a whole new look to the movie while also educating them on the mythology that is a big backbone of storytelling. Great job and can't wait to read more!

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    1. Hey Keana! I'm so happy the randomizer put your storybook back up on my page. I remember being so excited that there was a Burn Book take in this class so being able to read through the new story was definitely something I was looking forward to. As far as your story goes, I thought you did a great job translating that nasty teen energy from Mean Girls throughout your story. The last paragraph totally embodied that, starting with the sentence "Ares is a fake, disloyal, wife stealer..." Totally a line taken right out of the Mean Girls movie! I think the only suggestion I have is to watch for spelling and grammar a little bit more closely, but this is something everyone struggles with! I think that's why it's so good for us to read our stories out loud so we can catch the little things like that. Great job though this week and I can't wait to read more pages of this Olympus burn book!

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    1. Hi Keana!
      To start, this is such a great idea for a storybook. Its a great way to encompass all of the stories from the Greek Mythology world while also appealing to the taste of our generation. It definitely left me feeling interested and wanting to read more after the introduction. I also really liked how Eris was speaking to us- it submerged the reader in the story world. Im curious how this burn book started? Was it written by multiple gods and goddesses or one? Maybe you could also dive in to more detail about the narrator herself and how she got a hold of this book. That might give a little clarity as to why she in specific is reading it and what her motives are for the gossip and drama. Besides that, this is a great start and I cant wait to read more!

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  7. Hi Keana!
    Like everyone before has said, I really really love Greek mythology, so I was very excited to see your title pop up! It's so perfectly attention-grabbing - I love it! I also was really excited to see you choose Eris as the narrator. I think you have developed a really clear and strong character in that narrator, and it immediately helps us see what you're trying to do with the story. I also just like seeing people talking about the minor gods and goddesses. As you show with Eris, they really can have such strong and funny and interesting personalities to explore. I do think it would be helpful if we could have an outline of what arguments we're going to learn about, but that's a pretty minor concern. From the website design to the narrator, I can see your passion for this project and I think you're going to accomplish something really unique and wonderful with your storybook!

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  8. Hi Keana! I was so excited to read your project just based on the title! What a great idea to combine the famous drama of mount Olympus and the popularity of the burn book from Mean Girls! I would one hundred percent believe that something like a burn book actually exists on mount Olympus. I did notice some spelling grammatical errors in the first story, Athena vs Ares. I am really excited to see where your project goes and to read the rest of the stories! It could be a fun addition to create images like in the burn book in Mean Girls where there is a picture of the god or goddess and just a simple line about what is wrong with them! For example: a picture of Hephaestus and the words "ugly loser" or something!

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  9. Hi Keana! I was intrigued by your project initially! The title and introduction made me think of mean girls. I like how your introduction explains the concept behind the burn book for anyone who might not understand it. It is pretty funny to think that the gods and goddesses have the same kinds of petty drama that we have! I thought it was funny that Eris wasn't afraid to hold back and tell us what she really thinks. I for one would be a bit apprehensive to call gods whiny babies. I liked your story Athen vs. Ares. I was wondering if it was normally said Athena? I liked getting the scoop on the immortal drama! It is crazy that on their level, drama could end up in an all out war. I kind of understand the comparison to toddlers. It seems like both sides in these type of quarrels are often too stubborn. Great work!

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  10. Hi Keana,
    I must say I really LOVE the idea of a "Burn Book" for the gods. They are always complaining and gossiping about each other. They also very openly start drama just to cure their own boredom. I also am very fond of the idea of using another deity to narrate and keep this book. I especially like that you chose the goddess of strife and discord. I also agree that the gods are really just overgrown children, the main Olympians at least. Overall the story book is interesting so far. I definitely enjoy the sass Eris provides in her telling of the feud between Ares and Athena. I felt like I was watching Mean Girls or an MTV show. Grammar looks good, just keep looking it over and such. All I can recommend for now is maybe adding some variety to your header images. Your header images can be a subtle glimpse into what each story is about, it can really draw readers in.

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  11. Hi Keana,
    I really like your idea of a "Burn Book", really unique idea! I think this will leave you with many options in whatever direction you want to take your storybook. You always here about gods interacting with one another or having fights, this storybook can allow the reader to dive into arguments and disagreements even more. I look forward to seeing where you take this idea, but so far I love not only the creativity of the page, but also your design and layout.

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  12. Hi Keana,

    I love the title for your storybook project! The Burn Book gave me Mean Girls vibes right away! It's perfect since the gods are always gossiping and ready to start drama. The image of the fire you used was also very eye-catching! I was very excited after I read your introduction! Eris being the God of strife and discordance was both hilarious and clever. I like the approach you are taking where she isn't the one narrating, rather she is just the one involved causing all the problems. I get the vibe you are going to make this storybook somewhat like a reality tv show which is great! Overall, your grammar looks good and your introduction gave us a good idea of your central theme! I would suggest giving a little more clues as to what the other stories are going to be about and who they are going to involve! Also, maybe vary up the header images too! Great job!

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  13. Hi Keana!

    The cover image on your home page is so simple, but I think it works really well! The simple black background behind the fire makes it looks very fierce. However, I think it would be better if was a slightly larger image so readers could see there is a book in the photo. Showing part of the book would help tie it back to the topic of the "Burn Book". The photo in the introduction looks like it doesn't go together at first glance. However, after I looked at the details of what's happening in the photo, I think it works. It shows a man telling a story or giving a sermon to a crowd, which is what Eris is doing, especially by the "strap in and get ready to be immersed in some juicy gossip" part of your introduction. I think you've done a good job so far, I'm looking forward to seeing your finished project!

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  14. Hi Keana!
    I am absolutely loving the vibe of your storybook! I was reading the introduction and the whole time all I could think about was the mean girl’s movie but with gods and goddesses as the characters! I feel like Athena and Ares were fighting like they were secretly in love like come guys let it go! I think Athena was super upset and jealous by Ares running to Aphrodite. That could just be me reading way too far into it, but that could be a good behind the scenes tale! I especially loved how you’re keeping the story accurate! Like how the fighting in the original stories plays out! I really thought your idea for this storybook was very creative and I’m super excited to continue to watch the drama unfold! I think I’m secretly hoping to see some drama between my favorite gods and goddesses… Great job Keana!

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  15. Hi Keana :)
    I'm a really big fan on how you chose Eris as the narrator! I think it would've been easy to give her more of a sneaky or unlikeable personality, but you made her vivacious and hilarious in her gossipy ways. The way you've made her personality, I can imagine her appearing out of nowhere to drag me into the drama I'm desperately trying not to be a part of. Eris's voice is definitely my favorite part, lol!
    In your first story, I like how well you kept the continuity of Eris's voice. It can be tricky sometimes to keep the narrator's voice the same across different stories or chapters. The only critique I can really offer is to include more commas when needed. You lean toward having a lot of asides, so don't forget to "section" them off with commas. I think it would also be a little better if you had more direct quotes. The direct quote where Athena was talking about Ares thinking with the wrong head made me genuinely laugh out loud because I could picture it so well. Also, don't forget to add the A at the end of Athena's name in your site title!
    Other than those small critiques, I really like your story and introduction a lot. Keep up the good work :)

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  16. Hi Keana, what I really like about your book the best is the vocabulary you chose. Most of the words evoke the feel of what someone would feel while writing a burn book. There's a lot of anger and downright rudeness about the people they are talking about. It all fits with the stories you've chosen and all ties together, really well. I think the detail in the beginning of the story to give a foundation was helpful so the reader didn't have to just be dropped into the story, there was some context instead. There were a few small grammar errors in the intro but other than that everything read very easily and had a fun twist. It's interesting because there are so many of the Greek myths that read like teenagers arguing and gossiping. The way that you presented the story reflects all of the angst and pettiness that they had in those stories, it fits perfectly. I want to see how the narration will work with the other stories as well as what happens in the end.

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  17. Keana--
    Writing Greek stories from the point of view of a Burn Book is such a fun and entertaining idea! You definitely created a gossip-y sounding tone and continued throughout the whole story. I love the personal comments made throughout the paragraphs, it really adds to the Burn Book POV. I also like how you ended the story in a more casual way and it wasn't so formal. I definitely think that will help with the flow in between stories, just like you said. I think I enjoyed the second story more than the first, but it's hard to pick. The second story made me laugh a few more times when you made fun of their special powers. I love the competition vibe between the 2 and how insignificant it seemed that they were fighting over the name of a major city in the mortal world. I enjoyed reading this world you created! Good luck with the rest of your semester!!

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  18. Hi Keana!

    I love the concept that you chose for this Storybook! It's so catty and intriguing to have all of the god's drama spilled like something out of Gossip Girl. I really enjoyed reading these stories!

    I paid specific attention to the way you broke your paragraphs up this week and I didn't notice any odd breaks or spots that could be altered so you're good there! For the most part, your grammar and punctuation seemed good as well. I would suggest, though, that you could change up the cover page photo for each new story. I noticed that each page had the same image of flames and to spice it up a little bit, you could choose a new image for each to signify what might be going on in the story. I would also recommend adding in more images into the story just to make the paragraph breaks more interesting and to make the piece to flow a little smoother.

    Overall, good job on this Storybook! I had fun reading it.

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  19. Hi Keana,
    From your title I was immediately interested in your storybook. I love Greek mythology and stories about what goes on at Olympus.
    I really like the setup of your blog, especially the way you've organized and placed your photos. It really adds to the overall look! Your paragraph spacing and background theme is pretty too!

    The Athena and Ares story was cool. I enjoyed reading your retelling of the events that went down during the Trojan War. Athena and Ares are such a special pair, what with one of them being the god of war and one being the god(dess) of battle strategy. They are both hard-headed and temperamental aren't they? I like the way you wrote their relationship and the events that went down between them.
    The story of the feud between Athena and Poseidon was great! I love this myth, Athena with her superior gifts. I enjoyed the narrator's description of Poseidon. It may not be an unbiased description, but I totally agreed!

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