The Butler's Demise

    There was was a young man who worked for the Pharaoh, accompanying him on his journeys to the temples and beyond. This particular time the Pharaoh decided he would like to take a trip to visit with his scribe. They traveled and traveled until they arrived at the villa, Pharaoh in front, and his posse in tow behind hime, including the young man. Pharaoh, relived them of their duties, as he had a secret meeting with the scribe. Free for the time being, the young man roamed through the villa. As he walked he came across a beautiful young woman, unlike any he had ever seen before. He approach her cautiously and when he was closer he greeted her. It was almost as if it were love at first sight as both of them felt a strong connection to each other. 

    The love between the young man and the scribe's wife grew and as it did they began to meet in secret. They would spend time at the summer house and feast and bathe and do it all again the next day. The butler began to grow suspicious of the wife and one day followed her to the lake where he saw her bathing with the young man. He ran to the scribe and confessed all that he had seen. The scribe, angry and looking for revenge grabbed a small wax crocodile. Holding it in his hands he spoke a spell over it and placed it in the hands of the butler, telling him to throw the small croc into the lake when the lovers were in the water. 

    The next day as the scribe was off with Pharaoh, the lovers ran to lake to bathe, the butler right behind them. As the young man began to place himself in the water, the butler positioned himself in some bushes right off the side of the lake. The lovers laughed and enjoyed their time together. The young man began to swim more closely to the shore of the lake where the butler hid, and at that moment a small wax crocodile was thrown into the lake. When the wax figure emerged it was no longer small nor wax, but instead a full grown and live crocodile. The butler knew not of what was going to happen, yet he believed that it had something to do with the crocodile taking the young man, however, the reptile spun around. The young man was clambering out of the water and before the butler could scream he was taken away from the bushes by the big beast. The last thing he saw were the teeth of the monster and the fear in the young lovers faces...

Author's Note: The story that I chose to retell is the of "The Wax Crocodile". The original version had the crocodile take away the young man from the lake. After this is done, the scribe explains to Pharaoh the magic he can preform with the crocodile and him and Pharaoh make their way back to the lake. Pharaoh demands that the reptile returns to the lake with the young man, while the scribe explains the wrong doings of the boy and his wife. After learning this Pharaoh demands that the crocodile take the boy back to never be seen and the wife is ordered to be burned at the stake and then thrown into the Nile for her transgressions. In my story I chose for the crocodile to have a little bit of a mishap and accidentally go for the wrong person, going instead for the butler rather than the young man, letting the couple live happily together, but also in fear for the captured butler. this is also a bit of payback I guess you could say as the butler is the reason that the wife and the young man got caught. "Snitches get stitches" or in this case dragged off by a croc. 

Story source: Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie (1907)

Crocodile near the Banks (UnSplash)

Comments

  1. Hi Keana! I love your creative retelling of this story! I read the original this week, so I thought I would know how it ended, but I got such a pleasant surprise. It was a really funny twist to include the "snitches get stitches" idea, and it gave me a bit of a new perspective on the original story from the readings.

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  2. Hi Keana! I really like your story. After I read your author's note, I realized that you changed the original story's ending. This is an amazing way to put our minds into any story I think since we could change the plot to our preferred version. I totally agree that when we read some stories, we would feel uncomfortable for some plots or endings. Rewriting stories gives us the ability to change the situation.

    However, I want to ask why you set butler as the man who needs to be killed in your plot. Why the victim is not the woman? I mean, to be some extent, the butler does not make any mistakes based on the story's background, even though he tried to kill the couple. Do you think if the alligator killed the women would be a better choice?

    Here is just a little suggestion. I think if you could use some more concise sentences to talk about your story, it would be more excellent.

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